2006 FIFA World Cup		Grade: D
	Publisher: Electronic Arts (2006) Reviewed: 2007/8/14 Rating: Everyone

Being the typical American sports fan, I have a healthy lack of appreciation for the sport of soccer. I can enjoy an arcade-style soccer game, but real soccer is about as tedious and boring as baseball (yikes!). My buddy Steve happens to be a "real" soccer player, and while he can vouch for the game's realism, even he has a hard time getting excited about FIFA World Cup. By making the game so damn realistic, EA has managed to suck every last ounce of fun out of it! There are a crazy number of options, including pages and pages of menus and about 5,000 actual teams to choose from (give or take). I prefer getting right down to business with the ever-popular "play now" mode. When selecting a team, I tend to stick with Brazil or Italy because they're supposed to kick ass, but you'd never know from this game. From what I understand it's possible to score in soccer, but most of the contests I've played ended in 0-0 ties. This game is difficult. Your player is rarely in position when you pass ahead, and when he is, it's too easy to inadvertently make an extra pass to no one. Getting off a decent shot on goal is nearly impossible. You'd think that holding down the shot button would result in a stronger kick, but instead it sends the ball flying high over the net! When playing with friends, prepare to spend the first three minutes or so just figuring out which color you are, because the game makes no effort to tell you beforehand. And even then it's hard to tell which player you're controlling because the colored arrows above the players' heads are so freakin' tiny! The default camera angle is extremely wide, giving you a good view but making the goals and players look incredibly small. The stadiums are fairly massive, and the blizzard of balloons and confetti coming from the stands looks great (I feel bad for the digitized groundskeepers who have to clean up all that stuff!). World Cup's commentary is exceptionally good, and I love it when they describe the ball as being "dispossessed". But there's really not much to like about World Cup. Whether you're a casual fan or a soccer maniac, I doubt you'll derive much enjoyment from this dull, dry soccer title. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

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1 to 4 players

Amped 3		Grade: C
	Publisher: Take Two (2005) Reviewed: 2007/2/25 Rating: Teen (crude humor, mild violence, suggestive themes)

This has got to be the weirdest snowboarding game I've ever played. Despite investing many hours in Amped 3 over the past year or so, the game remains an enigma. Its lack of coherent structure is confounding, and its humor is often more infantile than clever. Still, those wide-open whites slopes are inviting, the controls are easy enough, and the sheer variety of challenges will keep you coming back again and again. Amped 3 is distinguished by its free spirit and offbeat sense of humor. You can explore each mountain on your own or participate in any number of challenges available at a given time. There's a little bit of racing, but most of the emphasis is placed on performing tricks for points, or participating in odd mini-games like jumping through hoops or collecting Easter Eggs tumbling down the slopes. There's even some snowmobile and sledding action, but the snowmobile is hard to control and the sled looks like a picnic basket. When snowboarding the sense of speed is mediocre and the collision detection is so-so, but it's easy to execute crazy tricks - maybe too easy. Grinds are pretty much automatic, so all you need to do is maintain your balance. Likewise when you're floating through the air it's hard not to pull off a spectacular stunt. The game's sense of freedom provides for ample replay value, but new players will quickly find themselves bewildered, wondering what the heck they need to do to make progress. The map is a confusing hodge-podge of symbols, and you really need to experiment to determine the "method behind the madness". My friend Steve and I couldn't even locate the two-player co-op mode, much less play it. The graphics are perfectly decent but they don't try to push the envelope. Amped 3 incorporates a lot of wacky, psychedelic visuals (reminiscent of Yellow Submarine) and imaginative but often juvenile animated cinematics. A few poke fun at classic video games, and these are undeniably hilarious. The game's alternative music soundtrack has a nice edgy quality, and I especially dig that "Call Me A Crazy Monkey" song. Amped 3 comes off as disorganized and sloppy, but if you're the laid-back, earthy-type who enjoys games designed by people on drugs, this isn't a bad way to waste a few hours. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

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1 or 2 players

Big Bumpin'		Grade: C-
	Publisher: King Games (2006) Reviewed: 2006/12/22 Rating: Everyone (mild cartoon violence)

As one of a trio of $3.99 Burger King (BK) games, Big Bumpin' places BK-related characters in a fun amusement park environment. Unlike the poorly maintained, accident-prone bumper car rides I grew up with however, these rides are "open air" with have impressive wooden backdrops including a fire-breathing dragon and pirate ship. I love how the bright neon lights reflect on the shiny arena surfaces. There are plenty of playing modes, but most aren't as fun as you might expect. The "last man standing" mode should be a blast, but its weak "bumps" aren't satisfying at all. Other modes let you play variations of hot potato or capture the flag, but they're equally lame. What truly saves the whole package is "Bumpin' Hockey" - the game's one shining moment. Played two-on-two, the action never lets up as you try to bang an oversized "puck" into your opposition's goal. If you can gather up three friends, you'll have an absolute blast with this. It would be nice if you could adjust the skill level of the CPU-controlled players, but as my friend Scott astutely pointed out, this isn't a $7.99 game! Big Bumpin' never lives up to its potential, but the hockey action makes it ideal for multiplayer mayhem. NOTE: This game also plays on a regular Xbox, with slightly degraded graphic quality. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.

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1 to 4 players

Bioshock		Grade: A+
	Publisher: 2K Games (2007) Reviewed: 2007/9/1 Rating: Blood and gore, drug reference, intense violence, sexual themes, strong language

If you thought the future of first-person shooters (FPS) was limited to strangers sniping at each other on-line, this amazing story-driven epic may alter you perspective. Bioshock does for FPS games what Resident Evil 4 did for the survival horror genre, raising the bar extremely high. It takes the dark, claustrophobic environments of Doom 3, the twisted occult themes of Silent Hill, and even elements of the film "The Shining" to create a distinctive, unsettling style all of its own. The undersea city of Rapture is part fun house and part haunted house, with bulletproof windows that offer magnificent views of what appears to be a submerged version of New York City. Set in the year 1960, the old-fashioned advertisements, neon lights, chrome moldings, and plush furniture call to mind an elegant, wholesome era of long ago. No game has ever tackled this period before, but Bioshock succeeds in spectacular fashion due to its brilliant art direction and unflinching attention to detail. The story begins with a plane crash, and early stages gradually usher you into the dark world of Rapture as you slowly become accustomed to the controls. The water effects are astonishing, and the deteriorating environments appear damp and properly aged. Buildings are connected by glass walkways, allowing you to explore diverse facilities like a medical center, an atrium, a farmer's market, and a lavish theater. Items and ammo can be found throughout the rich scenery, and rifling through desks, trashcans, and file cabinets is fun and habit-forming. Your adversaries are deranged masked people disfigured by demented surgical procedures. Upon gunning one down, I was really impressed by how its body contorted itself realistically as it slumped between two pieces of furniture. Completing each stage requires you to "save" or "harvest" infected little girls protected by imposing figures in deep-sea diving suits. The heavy footsteps and distinctive groans of these "big daddies" will instill an overwhelming sense of fear into any gamer. In addition to standard weaponry, you acquire injectable "plasmids" providing a wide range of unconventional powers, including telekinesis, lightning, incineration, and even the power to hypnotize big daddies! As a result, most challenges can be solved in a variety of ways. Snapping photos of enemies awards you with attack bonuses, making it well worth the effort. You also have the option of "hacking" vending machines, safes, and attack droids by playing a frantic "connect the circuit" mini-game. The audio is unnerving, with jarring noises, alarming footsteps, and muffled voices in distress. Tape recorders enlighten you to the sordid history of Rapture, and some of the voice clips are rather disturbing, like when a surgeon muses "It's time we did something about symmetry" as his female patient screams in horror. The first-rate voice acting is completely convincing, and the soundtrack is sensational, incorporating vintage phonograph music to good effect. Expertly designed and programmed, Bioshock's developers skillfully side-step the pratfalls so many other FPS games fall into. The difficulty can be adjusted at any time, checkpoints are copious, and after you are resurrected, your enemies retain their previous damage. Not only can you save your progress at any time from the pause menu, but the game has an auto-save as well. An arrow keeps you headed in the proper direction, and hints are readily available. With its stunning originality, engrossing storyline, and fantastic production values, Bioshock practically defies criticism. Hours literally melt away as you become caught up its fantastic tale of an undersea utopia gone mad. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

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1 player

Bully Scholarship Edition		Grade: B
	Publisher: Rockstar (2008) Reviewed: 2008/3/20 Rating: Teen (animated blood, crude humor, language, sexual themes, violence, use of alcohol and tobacco)

The thought of returning to high school may not sound appealing to most, but Bully lets you do the kind of stuff you wanted to do in school, like pick fights, play pranks, kiss girls, pull fire alarms, break into lockers, and be a major disruption. While similar in structure to the Grand Theft Auto (GTA) games, Bully is actually better due to its smaller scale. It also happens to be less profane and not nearly as raunchy. This game received stellar reviews on the PS2 a few years back, and it gets a new lease on life on the 360 with extra missions, improved graphics, and two-player mini-games. Playing the role of a 15-year-old juvenile delinquent named Jimmy Hopkins (who looks closer to 50), you roam freely around an expansive virtual campus while embarking on various missions. The campus is an interesting place, and I was especially pleased to see the leaves change color with the seasons and decorations go up for holidays. Rule-enforcing prefects drag you to class when you're truant, but even the classes are fun! In English, you'll unscramble letters, and in chemistry you hit buttons as they scroll across the screen. Art is played like the old Qix arcade game, and biology walks you through a realistic frog dissection. As you might imagine, the dissection begs for motion controls. These mini-games are also available in the excellent two-player mode. Bully has its share of load screens, but they tend to be short and colorful. The action moves at a steady pace, and the story is conveyed through brief, well-crafted cut-scenes. The stiff character faces reveal the game's PS2 origins, but the stately brick buildings and their lavish interiors still look terrific. The excellent soundtrack strikes an irreverent tone, and the professional voice acting is quite convincing. My issues with Bully are similar to those I have with GTA games in general. The missions are fun at first but start to feel like errands after a while. Once the scope of the game extends to a nearby town, the fun factor takes a hit. The basic storyline is very linear, so until you complete a critical mission you're forced to keep replaying it. Bully never achieves true greatness, but with an original concept, clever design, and high production values, it comes admirably close. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

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1 or 2 players

Burnout Revenge		Grade: A-
	Publisher: Electronic Arts (2006) Reviewed: 2006/5/7 Rating: Everyone (violence)

Holy cow - it's yet another outstanding racer for the Xbox 360! Unlike most critics, I felt the previous edition of this popular racing series, Burnout 3, was highly overrated. It was too chaotic, the single player mode was too confusing, and the famous "Crash Mode" was a huge letdown. With Burnout Revenge however, the series has reached new heights, with an absolutely captivating single-player mode and hyper-competitive split screen action. The controls are dead-on as you blaze down gorgeous highways, weaving around oncoming traffic and rear-ending cars with reckless abandon. One great new feature is the ability to slam into cars going in the same direction, sending them flying all over the place. Just be sure not to hit anything head-on! "Taking down" an opponent usually just involves slamming into them from the side, sending them into a wall or an oncoming vehicle. The sense of speed is amazing, but like Burnout 3, the game is too generous with the turbo boost. In fact, in many instances you can practically use it for the duration of the race. The cars model damage, and by the end of a grinding race, your once-shiny sports car is unrecognizable. I absolutely love the scenic courses, which include seaside resorts, realistic alleyways, and wide-open highways. The majestic mountain stages stand head-and-shoulders above those "paper mache" mountains seen in Full Auto. A kick-ass soundtrack fuels the action, and thank God that annoying commentator has been canned. The single-player mode is expertly designed, providing a reasonable ramping difficulty and gradual unlocking of cars and tracks. But for all the accolades, there are a few problems. For one thing, the number of load screens and cinematic intermissions is gratuitous. You'll be pounding the start button and shouting "get on with it already!" In the split-screen mode, there are no CPU opponents, which is awfully lame. Finally, the crash modes originally made famous in Burnout 2 are a complete joke. After you smash into a vehicle, the ensuing "chain reaction" is totally over-the-top and unsatisfying. Thirty seconds after the initial collision, idiot cars are still appearing from out of nowhere and inexplicably ramming into the pile. Many even appear to speed up before hitting the smoldering mass. Millions of dollars of damage is tallied, but you never feel like you've earned any of it. Judged on its racing element however, Burnout Revenge is as polished and addictive as can be. If you crave arcade-style racing, look no further. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.

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1 or 2 players

Cabela's African Safari		Grade: D+
	Publisher: Activision (2006) Reviewed: 2007/6/19 Rating: Teen (blood, violence)

I picked up Cabela's African Safari mainly out of curiosity, and I sort of regret it. I've always associated African safaris with scenic rides through the savannah while looking for picture-taking opportunities. Cabela's idea of a safari is blasting furry animals to oblivion. Fair enough - after all, Cabela is a hunting magazine. Don't get me wrong - I'm all for senseless violence in video games, but I prefer blasting normal, everyday targets like robots, thugs, or ninjas. African Safari's graphics are functional but somewhat weak, with rudimentary people models and rough animation. The game offers a nice variety of missions, but you'll need to complete them in a particular order. You'll target birds from a cruising riverboat, follow a herd of antelope from the back of a speeding jeep, and face charging wildebeests in the middle of an open plain. Most weapons are equipped with some kind of zoom mechanism that lets you take aim from a comfortable distance, and there's even a Matrix-style "slow down" mode. Though I've never been hunting "for real", I don't think this game is especially realistic. First off, there's a lot of thick brush to trudge through, but it doesn't seem to slow you down one bit. A radar screen not only indicates the exact location of your target, but other animals in the vicinity as well. Once animals are fired upon, they tend to totally freak out, running all over the place. That's bad news, because some of these things can absorb more bullets than a freakin' Terminator! You'll need to execute a number of kills within a time limit to successfully complete a mission, and it's not easy. In early missions you tend to target small animals, so you'll need to invest some time in the game before working your way up to the rhinos and lions. There are about seven play modes, but most are locked until you complete the main "Safari Hunt". Cabela's African Safari failed to maintain my interest, but my friend Steve claims his father-in-law is really into hunting and he loves this game, so I guess there's an audience for this. Feel free to bump up the grade by a letter if you enjoy hunting in real life. But as Steve so eloquently stated, "Games like this require time and patience, and we have neither." © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

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1 player

Cabela's Alaskan Adventures		Grade: D-
	Publisher: Activision (2006) Reviewed: 2008/3/20 Rating: Teen (blood, violence)

Wow, who would have thought Alaska could be so freakin' boring?! I was anticipating a realistic, open-ended romp through the wilderness, but instead Alaskan Adventures seems phony and contrived. The game immediately cuts to the chase, letting you hunt down a huge polar bear right off the bat. Actually, I'm not sure "hunt" is the right word, considering the thing is basically a sitting duck. After pumping it with lead, you claim your prize by approaching it and pressing A. This initiates the "animal camera", which lets you examine the bleeding carcass at close range. So... are we having fun yet?? Before embarking on other hunting expeditions you must first enter the "outpost" and traverse a series of tedious, confusing menus to purchase and outfit yourself with the proper gear. Once you finally begin a hunt, a PDA provides a radar display indicating exactly where the animals are! Okay, hold it right there. I've never been hunting before, but doesn't using computer equipment defeat the whole purpose?! Hell, you might as well be playing a video game. Oh wait... Anyway, the animals are usually in close range and easy to target. It feels like you're shooting fish in a barrel, and it's about as satisfying! Speaking of fish, Ice Fishing is another activity you can partake it. Sega Bass Fishing (Dreamcast, 1999) it is not. As it turns out, sitting by a hole in the ice is about as fun as... well, sitting by a hole in the ice. After getting a bite, non-intuitive controls are used to reel the fish in to minimal fanfare. Dog sledding is another mini-game, but that's just unbearable. Alaskan Adventure's graphics are fair, and the audio features nice crunchy footsteps and howling winds. But without delivering the realism of a simulation or the fun of an arcade title, Alaskan Adventures languishes in the dreaded "no-man's land" of video games. You can bump up the grade by a letter if hunting is your thing, but as a seasoned video game addict, my time is better spent shooting ninjas, robots, and fat guys who blink red. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

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1 player

Call of Duty 2		Grade: A-
	Publisher: Electronic Arts (2005) Reviewed: 2007/1/28 Rating: Teen (blood, mild language, violence)

Probably the best of the Xbox 360 launch titles, Call of Duty 2 brilliantly showcases the system's power in the form of a remarkably immersive WWII first-person shooter. The game is gorgeous, easy to play, and often exhilarating. Its war-torn environments are totally convincing, the explosions are earthshaking, and fellow soldiers take cover and bark at each other with uncanny realism. The attention to detail makes all the difference, with blowing snow, hazy smoke effects, and the perpetual sound of gunfire in the distance. You'll witness huge bombers flying overhead and tanks rolling above as you take cover in the trenches. The stages are so well designed that you barely realize how completely linear the game is. The controls are as crisp as the graphics, and your degree of precision while aiming is amazing. As with any first-person shooter, your vision is limited, but a handy visual indicator alerts you to any grenades in close proximity. To tell you the truth, the game would probably be unplayable without it. The single player missions are truly exciting, and the intensity never lets up. The checkpoints are frequent, you can save at any time, and the load times are negligible. If there's one area where Call of Duty 2 disappoints, it's the multiplayer split-screen modes. You can't play cooperatively, and the environments are far too large for four players. You'll go for minutes before you can even find anyone to shoot! My friends would have loved to have been able to fight as a team against a CPU-controlled army. Still, Call of Duty 2 is still a smart purchase on the strength of its excellent single-player mode. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

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1 to 4 players

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare		Grade: A-
	Publisher: Activision (2007) Reviewed: 2008/3/28 Rating: Mature (blood and gore, intense violence, strong language)

Call of Duty 4 (CoD4) offers jaw-dropping squad-based first-person shooting action, and it would be difficult to find a better-looking game for the 360. CoD4's two-pronged storyline unfolds in a war-torn Middle-Eastern city and the Russian countryside, with missions alternating between the two locations. The initial training stage not only gets you acquainted with the controls, but also recommends a difficulty level based on your performance! Unlike the run-and-gun action of Halo, CoD4 demands a calculated, deliberate approach to each new area, with heavy emphasis on sniping. A helpful objective marker on your compass always keeps you headed in the right direction. CoD4's shooting controls are outstanding, whether aiming through a scope or "shooting from the hip" while on the move. Fatal shots are accompanied by splashes of blood, but enemies can recover from minor wounds and continue battle. One element borrowed from Halo is your ability to reconstitute health if you stay out of harm's way for a few seconds. A more original feature that I love is your ability to call in air strikes or helicopter support at the press of a button. The modern day equivalent of the "smart bomb", it's incredibly satisfying in the multi-player modes. Also notable is your ability to throw grenades back at enemies! The photo-realistic environments consist of crumbling ruins, burning apartments, country cottages, and a high-tech television station. The diverse missions deliver a lot of tense but memorable moments. You'll escape a sinking frigate, flee from a crash-landing helicopter, crawl past Russian soldiers in a field, shoot down a helicopter with stinger missiles, and engage in harrowing rescue operations. In one after-dark mission you aim missiles from high in the sky using night vision, and it's amazing to see the tiny people below scurrying away from the explosions. Missions are ideal in length with frequent checkpoints, and cut-scenes meld seamlessly with the action, providing some shocking twists. The save and load screens are masked by status displays so buzzing with activity that it's almost sensory overload. On the multiplayer side, the split-screen action is the best I've played, with interesting stage layouts that are perfectly sized. I only wish there was a co-op mode. The critically-acclaimed on-line mode is the main attraction for many gamers. Technically, Call of Duty 4 is watertight, but its realism can intrude on the fun. It's hard to differentiate your troops from enemies as they all look the same. The grenade indicators are rather small, and you might not notice them until it's too late. Cars on fire explode with alarming frequency, leading to many instant deaths. Finally, if you play games to escape the real world, the Mid-East locations look a lot like what you'd see on the news. But for those who crave realism in their war games, Call of Duty 4 is the real deal. © Copyright 2008 The Video Game Critic.

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1 to 4 players

College Hoops 2K7		Grade: B
	Publisher: 2K Sports (2006) Reviewed: 2007/3/1 Rating: Everyone

The fluid animation and vibrant graphics of College Hoops 2K7 feels like a breath of fresh air after playing EA's sub-par NCAA 07 March Madness. In 2K7, players move with uncanny realism and even the fabric of their baggy uniforms flows impressively. The action is decidedly up-tempo, with plenty of deflected passes, loose balls, and fast break opportunities. Responsive controls make it easy to dish the ball on offense, hound your man on defense, and perform sweet give-and-gos during transitions. I do however wish the right stick was used perform crossover dribbles instead of functioning as a confusing "shot stick". Selected players are clearly highlighted with colorful circles that also contain helpful icons including wings (speed), hands (ball handling), and the number three for long range specialists. Unlike March Madness where you can drive the hoop with reckless abandon, nothing comes easy in College Hoops, but that makes it all the more satisfying. Pressing the left bumper brings up the passing icons, but you can't always see them for players near the top edge of the screen, which is problematic. Shooting foul shots involves a simple movement of the right stick, and while I'm not a big fan, at least it lets you know if you release too early or too late. The arenas look fantastic with constant activity everywhere you look. The crowd looks fine from a distance, but up close they all look like people from Dr. Suess' Whoville. Coaches constantly prowl the sidelines, and just like in real life they even wander onto the court. Gary Williams of Maryland looks about right, but his voice is way off. A two-man team provides fine commentary, but you'll need to turn the crowd noise way down if you want to hear them (why is it so loud?). College Hoops has an impressive TV-style presentation, with professional-looking graphics and a post-game show with Greg Gumble. Sometimes the graphics can be a little too much however, like when Bonnie Berstein's name is plastered over the screen while the game is in progress! Excuse me, but we're trying to play here! Much like Madden, bonuses flash on the bottom of the screen after you've performed extraordinary feats like hitting 10 shots in a row. One issue I have to mention is the confusing menu navigation system. Using the right stick to call up menus may be the dumbest, least intuitive idea in the entire history of video games. Still, College Hoops is an easy choice for college basketball fans trying to generate a little bit of their own March madness this year. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

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1 to 4 players

Condemned		Grade: A-
	Publisher: Sega (2005) Reviewed: 2006/10/28 Rating: Mature (blood and gore, intense violence, strong language)

Despite its detrimental effect on my blood pressure, I found myself drawn into Condemned. In this dark, first-person thriller you play the role of a wrongly-accused cop fleeing the law while in pursuit of the "real" killer. The atmosphere maintains an ultra-high level of intensity as you creep through abandoned buildings, collect evidence, and bash the skulls of crazed wandering drugs addicts (who love to sneak up on you). The dark alleys, grungy abandoned buildings, and dank subway corridors look amazing. Don't let anybody tell you that graphics don't matter, because these "next generation" visuals make you feel "in the game" like never before. Condemned's understated soundtrack is sparse but effective. Every creak is jolting, and every shadow is alarming. The game plays like a video game adaptation of the classic movie Seven. I must confess I was initially apprehensive about the whole "evidence collecting" aspect. I feared it would be slow and tedious, but fortunately that's not the case. The game prompts you to use the appropriate device to scan the immediate area, which always reveals some kind of glowing clue. There action is complimented by a compelling storyline and brief cut-scenes that blend in seamlessly. Condemned is relentlessly scary. After one prolonged stage in the dark, I was practically begging for daylight. As for weapons, you'll wield whatever you can get your hands on, including pipes, fire axes, sledgehammers, and sawed-off shotguns. The game even informs you how a newly discovered weapon compares to the one you're currently holding (in terms of damage, range, etc). On the downside, the maze-like environments grow tiresome over time, and sometimes you can't tell where attacks are coming from (especially bullets). But despite these minor issues, Condemned packs a wallop and is easily the most captivating game I've experienced on my 360. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.

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1 player

Darkness, The		Grade: B
	Publisher: 2K Games (2007) Reviewed: 2007/7/25 Rating: Mature (blood and gore, drug reference, intense violence, suggestive themes, strong language)

My eyes tend to roll when I see a new first-person shooter (FPS), but The Darkness dishes out enough profanity, violence, and original elements to make it worthy of consideration. You play a hit man named Jackie who's supposed to be 21 but looks like the villain from The Crow, who was much older. On the run from the mafia, you suddenly find yourself possessed by a twisted demonic force. One minor side-effect of the possession are huge Alien-like snakes that protrude from your back (by the way, they'll never go away if you don't stop picking on them!). The action gets off to a wild start with a semi-interactive car chase through a New York City tunnel. Depicted with cinematic flair and an alarming sense of speed, it's probably the most remarkable intro I've ever witnessed in a game. In lieu of hackneyed cut-scenes, the Darkness conveys its dramatic storyline through conversations, television news briefs, and even ghostly apparitions. Shooting out lights in games is always fun, and in the Darkness, it actually serves a purpose since you are empowered by the dark. In addition to the standard-issue FPS firearms, your demonic possession provides you with a few unconventional attack options. Your snakes can lash out against foes and rip out their hearts at the touch of a button. It's brutal, gory, and habit-forming! The snakes also give you the ability to slither through tiny openings, but the first-person view employed by these sequences is awful. You tend to stick to every wall and ceiling, and it's disconcerting as hell. More fun is your ability to summon demonic minions from glowing portals. These comical little gremlins include bloodthirsty "berserkers", well-armed "gunners", and "kamikaze" bombers. It's great to send them off to do your dirty work, although directing them can be tricky since your enemies need to be in sight. The game's visuals are first-rate, and if I hadn't played Condemned (Sega, 2006) last year, I would have been blown away by the gritty, realistic urban environments. Unfortunately, I could never quite navigate the streets and alleys without getting lost and going in circles. Also, you tend to move rather slowly, and I often found myself checking to make sure I wasn't crouching! This Xbox 360 version is superior to its PS3 cousin, thanks to its effective vibration feature and load screens that are completely disguised (no meters). The Darkness held my attention like few first-person shooters can, with an edgy brand of demonic carnage you just don't see everyday. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

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1 to 4 players

Dead Rising		Grade: B-
	Publisher: Capcom (2006) Reviewed: 2006/10/28 Rating: Mature

Obviously inspired by the classic zombie flick "Dawn of the Dead", Dead Rising places you in the role of a "hard edged" photojournalist spending three days in a zombie-infested mall. As you fly into town via helicopter, a semi-interactive stage sets the mood perfectly as you survey the devastation. Upon arriving at the mall, a number of supporting characters are introduced, including a few curvaceous babes. The people are realistically animated, but their faces appear to be full of Botox! They also seem strangely oblivious to the dangers around them. The zombies come in a remarkable variety, and while slow and dumb, they're still dangerous due to their sheer numbers - just like in real life! Exploring the expansive mall is fun, and there's also a scenic park, a grocery store, and outdoor shopping areas. But what's most satisfying is how you can beat zombies into bloody pulps using whatever you can get your hands on, including trash cans, benches, steel racks, baseball bats, chainsaws, flower pots, and baguettes. Locate the katana and you can even slice up those creeps "Kill Bill style". Most objects can be used as projectiles as well. It's a blast to mow down zombies en masse with a lawnmower, or kick a soccer ball into a crowd and watch it ping around. Experimenting is really half the fun. Guns are available as well, but ammo is limited and the aiming mechanism isn't so hot. Dead Rising maintains a clever sense of humor, evident in the ability to don silly items like a dress or a Mega Man mask. But despite its awesome concept, Dead Rising manages to shoot itself in the foot in the most unlikely ways. First and foremost, the save system has been universally hailed as the worst ever devised. There's only one save slot, and you can only save your place in rest rooms, which are not ideally spaced. After you die, you're presented with two options: "Load from Last Save" and "Save Status and Exit". Although the second option might seem reasonable, in fact it forces you to restart the game from the beginning! Someone in Capcom's quality control department didn't do a very good job. I also take issue with the insanely hard "bosses". You'll endlessly pump ammo into these freaks, and then they'll turn around and kill you with one hit! The game also suffers from an excessive number of loading screens, and the font used to display dialogue is incredibly tiny. Finally, the missions can be tedious at times, forcing you to backtrack all over God's creation while your annoying cell phone rings off the hook. Dead Rising is definitely a crowd-pleaser, offering ample eye candy and an unsurpassed degree of instant gratification. But those who play the entire game will almost certainly develop a love/hate relationship with it somewhere along the line. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.

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1 player

Dead or Alive 4		Grade: B
	Publisher: Tecmo (2005) Reviewed: 2006/7/26 Rating: Mature (blood, violence, sexual themes, partial nudity)

I always love a good 3D fighter, but Dead or Alive 4 (DOA 4) gave me a serious case of Deja vu. After first playing Dead or Alive 3 (Xbox, 2001) as a basis for comparison, I can tell you that there's really not much difference between the two. Sure, the graphics in DOA4 are slightly better (the edges are softer), but it could still easily be mistaken for DAO3. At the very least, I was expecting more realistic hair textures, but they're still a bit chunky. Even the gameplay feels the same, although some fancy new maneuvers have been added. There are plenty "juggling" combos, obstacles to get tossed into (like a fruit stand), and high cliffs to fall from (before resuming battle). I'm glad Microsoft included a directional pad on their 360 controller, because you really need it for a game like this. The expanded roster of characters includes Ryu from Ninja Gaiden and the guy from Halo, but I wish they had included more stages instead. Attractive but unspectacular, the locales include a Japanese temple in the mountains, a rope bridge over a jungle river, a Greek village by the sea, and a rowdy wrestling venue. You'd think at least the prehistoric dinosaur stage would be interesting, but even that comes off rather ho-hum. In addition to versus and on-line modes, the one-player story mode is fun and some of its endings are quite suggestive. Dead or Alive 4 is a good all-around fighter with no major flaws, but you'd think a next generation system would have more to offer. © Copyright 2006 The Video Game Critic.

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1 or 2 players

Dead or Alive Xtreme 2		Grade: F
	Publisher: Tecmo (2006) Reviewed: 2007/8/14 Rating: Mature (partial nudity, sexual themes, simulated gambling)

Okay, now this is just embarrassing. Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 is a collection of lame mini-games loosely tied together with voyeuristic cut-scenes of young babes frolicking in string bikinis. At least the first Dead or Alive Xtreme (Xbox 2003) offered a decent game of beach volleyball, but this one can't even do that right! Perhaps Tecmo believed the ample eye candy could substitute for quality gameplay, but they were sadly mistaken. Xtreme 2 forces you to play a ridiculous story mode that begins with your chick arriving at a tropical island full of other hot babes. The "game" (and I use the word loosely) takes place over a number of days, and places an unhealthy emphasis on shopping and exchanging gifts with other girls. Since I'm a guy, I really don't give a [expletive] about any of that. Volleyball is still the main event, but its gameplay is laughably bad, with a ground-level camera angle that makes impossible to judge where the ball will land. Worse yet, there's no multiplayer option unless you go on-line! I don't know about you, but I wouldn't even want anybody seeing me playing this on-line! I was hoping the new jet-ski games would redeem the package, but these just play like a third-rate Wave Race, with sparkling water that looks awfully fake. Xtreme 2's miscellaneous "pool games" are equally worthless, although the casino games are fairly well done (hurrah). The remainder of the game amounts to watching girls lounging by the pool in suggestive positions. Man did this game make me feel like a pervert! There's an uptempo soundtrack that's appropriately bouncy, but Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 is all style and no substance. I have no problem with hot babes and lush tropical environments, but this is one peep-show in dire need of a video game! © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

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1 player

Earth Defense Force 2017		Grade: A-
	Publisher: D3Publisher (2007) Reviewed: 2007/5/8 Rating: Teen (animated blood, mild language, violence)

Earth Defense Force 2017 (EDF) is the 3D equivalent of those Dreamcast-era 2D shooters - the ones with frantic rapid-fire action and projectiles that flood the screen. The familiar premise has an armada of alien ships invading Earth, deploying towering robots and giant rampaging insects. Played from a third-person view, you are an infantryman fighting alongside dozens of other soldiers. The controls are refreshingly simple, mainly limited to the shoulder buttons, and even reloading is automatic! Selecting weapons between stages is key, and there's plenty of big guns to choose from. Typically you'll want one assault weapon for close-range combat, and some kind of rocket launcher for the big jobs. Green blood splashes all over as you employ the standard "strafe and shoot" tactics on the swarms of marauding ants and spiders. The alien bugs look remarkably lifelike, and the cool, retro-futuristic robots lumber around with an alarming sense of mass. The endless blasting is fun, but it's the quality of the visual effects that really caught me off guard. The buildings are the largest I've seen in any game, and when they collapse, it's astonishing. Equally impressive are the enormous alien ships that settle over the landscape and dispatch aliens into the city. What makes the graphics so effective is the fact that you can see very far into the distance, giving the carnage an impressive sense of scale. While running amidst the chaos, you'll want to keep an eye out for pixelated icons to regenerate shields, regain health, and acquire new weapons. There are even opportunities to man vehicles like tanks and helicopters, although the controls for these are less than intuitive. I love the unapologetic B-movie quality EDF exudes, with cheesy radio announcements and gung-ho soldiers that call to mind Starship Troopers (not that I would ever condone that awful film). You can select your difficulty for each stage and even cooperate with a partner on a split screen. My friends absolutely love this game, and often find themselves shouting "holy [expletive]!" in response to the relentless destruction. Only the occasional glitch will remind you that EDF is a budget title. In one instance, a bug was hiding under an overpass, but you could see parts of its body jutting through the road above. Another time my soldier appeared to inexplicably take flight, when in fact he was swimming (with the camera situated underneath). It may be a little rough around the edges, but Earth Defense Force is still exceptional. Incorporating simple controls, substantial firepower, and amazing eye candy, this is a break-through shooter for the 360. © Copyright 2007 The Video Game Critic.

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1 or 2 players